wildyams

That last entry has been hanging up there long enough, and I've been getting some complaints about my apparent lack of dedication to ye olde blog, so here's a new (albeit shitty) entry for you cause I don't know what else to write about. Here's a couple silly quotes from a pair of everyone's favorite celebrities. First up, we have J-Lo telling us how she'd like to be president. This wouldn't be quite so silly if she didn't first refer to herself as a "powerhouse":

"I'm a total powerhouse. If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president -- that would be really cool... The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House -- it doesn't look very cozy... Believe it or not -- I clean my house!"

Next we have Tom Cruise claiming that because of Scientology, he can learn anything:

"Scientology is an applied religious philosophy. It gives tools to improve your conditions, tools I have learned in terms of literacy that allow me to fly planes, produce movies. My literacy level, IQ, is up. I know I can learn anything."

My heroes. Keep it up you two! :lol

This is maybe the funniest Onion article ever. Thanks to Zac and Matt for showing me this :smile

For a second there I wasn't sure I was gonna be able to find a movie this week that I would be so opposed to seeing that I wouldn't allow myself to be dragged to it, but then I noticed something about this week's winner, and it became an easy decision. This week's movie I couldn't be dragged to is:

House of Wax

What's the reason it was such an obvious choice? Simple: Paris fucking Hilton's in it. I think my last entry probably gives you a good idea of how much I despise her and everything she represents, so suffice it to say I'm not going to help her film's opening weekend at the box office.

In other movie news, I see that Gregg Araki has a new movie out, and although I enjoyed The Doom Generation and Nowhere because of how silly and out-there they are, I don't think I'm gonna venture out to theaters to see his new one unless I hear from reliable sources that it's worth it. If I knew it would be like Doom Generation and Nowhere then I'd probably go, cause I'm usually up for any movie that wacko, but it's been 8 years since Nowhere came out, and word has it that his last movie in theaters wasn't in the same vein, so I'll wait. It's in my Netflix que though :smile

Here's a great moment in cinema history, which I know that Cookie is a huge fan of. I give you the very ending of the Paul W.S. Anderson film, Soldier:

1.1 meg movie link

Tonight I went to see Moby at The Wiltern with Mr. Nuts, and I had a really great time. Koga picked me up for the show at about 8 and we drove over to the Wiltern. When we got there we realized we had an hour to kill and we decided to eat some Vietnamese food, which was pretty tasty. After we ate, we made our way to our seats, which were pretty decent: mid-level balcony, dead center. Koga decided to refrain from purchasing every shirt they had to offer like he did with Garbage, and instead settled on a shirt with the tour dates. After the opening act, Buck 65, Moby came on and right away I was into it.

I've been a big fan of Moby's since I saw him a few years back on the Area 1 show, and I was not disappointed tonight. He had a rather eclectic selection of songs, playing real mellow stuff, real heavy rock stuff, playing some hardcore dance stuff, and even a cover of "Break on Through" by the Doors. One of the funniest moments of the night, I thought, was when he announced that he just recently discovered the guy playing guitars was a gifted harmonica player, so as a result they played an impromptu generic blues song (or as Moby called it "a bad white-boy blues song") just so that the guitar player could jam on his harmonica. Moby also at one point "confessed" something which was pretty obvious: that in high school he was a nerd. He said he frequently has heard supermodels and such say things like "I'm such a geek" because it is now trendy to be a geek, but he said he has a litmus test to see if someone is really a geek or not, and it consisted of four questions:

1. Do you know what the 'T' in James T. Kirk stands for?
2. Were you involved your high school's A/V department?
3. Had you ever seen the documentary 'Spellbound'?
4. Had you ever held a 20-sided die?

Anyway, he played for over two hours, and he played almost every song I really wanted to hear (although I wish he had maybe played more songs off of 18, but that's being nitpicky), and it was a really fun show that the crowd seemed to enjoy. After tomorrow he's leaving the US for the rest of his tour, so unless you're in San Diego or in another country, you're gonna have to wait a while to see him again :wink

I don't know if everyone is aware of this or not, but Mr. Bell is going to be journeying out here from his home planet, Hoth, a week from Thursday. He's been telling everyone that he's coming out here for the release of Episode III (that's the new Star Wars movie, FYI), but I saw something on the marquee at the Wiltern this weekend which made me realize why he is really coming out:

No word yet on whether Milkshake will be accompanying him (it's largely dependent on whether Katherine Bailess will be at the show as well).

Rank these characters from best to worst:

- Han Solo in Episode IV
- Han Solo in Episode V
- Han Solo in Episode VI
- Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark
- Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
- Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (the grown-up version only)

Here's some Porkins related stuff for you:

JekPorkins.net

Here's an excerpt from some random conversation about Porkins:

Dana: Oh, hey. I have to ask you something. Have you ever heard of Porkins?

Rob: Porkins? Porkins. I have no idea what you're talking about

D: Porkins. I guess he was in Star Wars?

R: Oh, wait. Porkins, yeah. Wasn't he the fat guy at the end? He was one of the pilots, the fat one.

D: I guess so, I dont know. Nick has this little Star Wars action figure on his web cam at work. When I asked him who it was, he said "Porkins!" and I was like "Who the FUCK is Porkins?" and he was like "It's PORKINS!" When I asked him to be more specific, he just answered "PORKINS!!"

R: There is NOT a Porkins action figure.

D: No, there is! And right now, Porkins is bent over the hood of a little toy car! He's been doing all kinds of stuff on the cam. Fixing the car. Falling out of the car.

R: It's not Porkins! Why would it be Porkins?! Why would they make an action figure out of PORKINS?? I mean, come on. Porkins? Porkins had like two lines... (click to read the rest of the conversation)

Another easy one this week. Any time there's a movie starring people like Ashton Kutcher or Paris Hilton or J-Lo, you just know I'm not gonna pay money to see it. It's a lock. So the weeks that these people have movies coming out, it makes my weekly selection that much easier. Here is my pick for this week's movie I couldn't be dragged to see:

Monster-In-Law

If the J-Lo factor wasn't enough, it's from a first time screenwriter and it stars the love interest from the shit movie Never Been Kissed (of which we all know Milkshake is a fan). First time screenwriters don't bug me so much, except when their first screenplay is so obviously cliche. Why would someone get into screenwriting if their first script is going to be basically a rip-off of Meet the Parents? I dunno, just seems like you'd think they had something more to say. But what do I know, someone got paid a lot of money to rehash Meet the Parents, so maybe they know something I don't. Be that as it may, I'm not gonna give this movie the benefit of the doubt (getting killed on the Tomatometer doesn't help make my outlook any more optimistic either) just so that I can help support J-Lo's career, enabling her to make more of these types of movies.

Speaking of J-Lo, apparently she was having a documentary made about her and after she saw it fired everyone because she was depicted as a bitch:

Jennifer Lopez has dumped a behind-the-scenes documentary, after she was reportedly filmed shouting at the crew... Lopez was unhappy with the end result - even though Sony executives and her managers thought the film was perfect, reports America's Radar magazine. A source says, "Sony was thrilled with the finished product. So too were J.Lo's managers, who felt it captured the Jennifer they knew so well. She was 'stunned' by her depiction, complaining angrily about the sound of her voice and about scenes showing her abusing his employees." link

Uh, I got this email from the Arclight last night informing me of some rather odd goings-on at the Star Wars shows next week (one of which, I will be attending a week from tonight). Read below for the weirdness:

LIGHTSABER DUELS AND STORMTROOPERS! Marshall artist sword masters from Master Replicas will present live lightsaber duels in the plaza every hour after dark, Wednesday through Saturday, May 18 - 21. The 501st Legion Stormtroopers will oversee the duels.

On Wednesday, May 18th, the 501st Legion, led by Darth Vader, will march through Hollywood to celebrate the opening of the film, returning to ArcLight around 7pm.

Let the celebration begin and may the Force be with you.

Just remember, at one time this was actually a serious picture for some people:

Seems hard to believe now doesn't it?

I came across a funny movie today that's 5 or so minutes long and I wanted to share it with anyone who's curious, so here you go: The Loner Enjoy :smile

I'm getting tired of looking at Catwoman when I come here, so it's time for a new entry. Unfortunately I don't really have anything too terribly interesting to write about (what else is new), so I'm just gonna ramble I guess. Work seems to have calmed down a tad recently, but I doubt it will last. In fact, they tell us it's going to get busier than it's ever been soon, so yee-haw for that :roll In spite of myself, I am getting very excited for Episode III this Friday. It's going to be great to see John again, and it will be fun to get everyone together like that; but I'm actually really excited for the movie itself. I feel like I'm going to have the right expectations going in, especially after talking with J-Krue yesterday and getting the lowdown on what to expect. It's going to have it's numerous flaws, and I'm expecting that, but I'm still excited to see how Anakin becomes Darth Vader. I can't help it. It's something that I've been wanting to see for years, and from the sound of it, Lucas at least doesn't fumble that part of the story.

All the hype and discussion about Star Wars lately made me pull out Empire and watch that last night, and I plan on watching Jedi either tonight or tomorrow night. I gotta say, it had been a while since I watched Empire all the way through, and it really is a great movie. Harrison Ford in particular is really great as Han Solo in that one, balancing the comedic elements of his character with the heroic parts. I got a real kick out of when he says matter-of-factly "I feel terrible" after they bring him back from torturing him on Bespin. I can see why Empire is the favorite movie for many people.

I think one of the reasons I like Jedi as much as I do is because I really like Luke's character in it. It's the one movie where he's not really either whiny or acting like a know-it-all brat at points. Watching him with Yoda in Empire, you just want Yoda to slap some sense into him and tell him to shut it and pay attention. I was also struck, while watching Empire, at how good some of the dialogue was, in particular with Yoda and the interplay between Han and Leia. I know I'm stating the obvious and rehasing what thousands have already said, but that's something that's been sorely lacking from the prequels. Nonetheless, I am still anxious to see Episode III though. It should be a fun time on Friday :smile

Would you rather have to live the rest of your life on Hoth, Tatooine or Dagobah? In other words, which would be the most terrible?

This is one of the funnier jokes I've seen in a while. Apparently last night at the Arclight where they were showing Episode III, some people showed up to protest. They weren't protesting the fact that the movie wasn't being shown at the Chinese though, oh no. No, they were protesting something far sillier: they were apparently protesting that people shouldn't believe in "the force" as a religion, and should instead be Jesus worshippers:

click to enlarge

After looking at the URL at the bottom of their signs, toolofsatan.org, I was compelled to go check it out, and they've got some pretty fantastic stuff up on their site. See for yourself:

Anyone who is swayed by this and wants me to give away their ticket for tomorrow night's show so they can go to church, be sure to let me know :lol

Matt pointed out this fantastic video clip that some guy made of Kirk and the real Enterprise going up against the Next Generation Enterprise in which the original series guys wipe the floor with Picard and his crew. We both laughed heartily while watching it, so I thought I'd share it here. Enjoy :grin

7.8 meg .wmv file

Kudos to the person(s) at this page who created and/or host it :grin

Since I didn't post a review for Episode III yet, I figure I'll just link to the review I left on IMDB so if anyone wants to see what I thought, then there you go. If you don't want to go there, my really short review is that I didn't like it too much. Anyway, there's a now-famous hilarious scene in it in which Darth Vader raises his fists to the sky and yells out "Nooooo!", and this prompted me wondering what are some other great similar moments in movies? I can come up with a couple:

- Luke at the end of Empire when he finds out that Darth Vader is his father yells out "Nooooo!"

- Patrick Stewart when told to "blow up the damn ship!" in Star Trek First Contact yells "Nooooo!" and then destroys a display case filled with his little ships.

- Jean Claude Van Damme in both Bloodsport or Kickboxer right before his buddy gets killed in the ring, in each movie he yells out "Nooooo!" while apparently trying to ward off the death with the palm of his hand.

- Lance Henriksen is so upset at losing his biological weapon at the end of Alien 3 when Ripley jumps off the ledge into the furnace that he yells "Nooooo!" as she falls to her death below.

What are some other good ones? Got a favorite from the list above?

By the way, here's a quite genius and hilarious dance song remixed with clips of the music from the original Star Wars trilogy and clips from Darth Vader and the Emperor: I Am Your Father (Vader Remix)

Today I am in recovery mode after seeing Nine Inch Nails play down at Soma in San Diego in what was one of the best shows I've ever seen by anyone. I drove down there with Dave and Rebecca, and I had two extra tickets that I had not been able to get rid of. We left at around 2 or so after I picked them up because we wanted to avoid any traffic there might be heading down there later in the afternoon or evening. The ride down was a breeze, no traffic at all (although there was a lot on the other side of the freeway), and we got down there around 4 or so. Since the show started at 8, we decided to go try to find a place to eat and just relax; but first we went by the venue to check it out. There were already a fair amount of people waiting in line, but the venue was a really small place in a strip mall. It looked like the show was going to be at a music store the place was so small and inconspicuous. We were really excited about how small the place looked, because if you can see one of your favorite bands in a really small, intimate venue then you are indeed very lucky.