wildyams

I'd have to go with Sargeant Todd.

I'm shocked that no one else at our table recognized him when he was sitting at that nearby table at Benihana awhile back.

BTW, thanks for crediting me for reminding you to post a Terrible Friday today.

I think Colonel Jack O'Neil from Stargate is more terrible. Soldier is a bad movie, but they tried to do something a little different by letting Kurt Russell bulk and giving him next to no dialogue. Stargate on the other hand gave him dialogue and a bad beret. At least he was able to play charades in Soldier when trying to explain something, like killing a green snake with a boot.

The main reason I didn't recognize Kurt Russell at my birthday dinner a year ago is because I was sitting with my back to his table and nobody said "hey look, it's Kurt Russell" until he was leaving, at which point I turned around and definitely recognized him. That was the second time I'd seen The Porkchop Express in person, the first being at Dodger Stadium some years back when I was working there. He was there with his two daughters (one of which might have been Kate Hudson for all I know, they were both no more than 13 or so at the time). He was there to watch the Cubs and he didn't buy anything from me

And yes, Mr. Nuts, you were the guy who reminded me to do this. I was all caught up in work and the Laker game last night and the Matrix and all, and forgot that it's the terrible things in life that are what is really important

i'm not sure which is which, the one with the beret is more terrible. B/c beret's are almost always terrible. Well, not necessarily, I've seen some people who look really cute in a beret. I guess Kurt Russel just doesn't really. I think Goldie Hawn would. Kate Hudson would too.

woah. i TOTALLY didn't mean to do that. Sorry everyone. Sorry Wildyams.

oh, wow. It's gone. last time i was here, my first post was up here like 9 times. Now there's only one. that's what I was apologizing for.

It is I who should apologize to you, Kelly. Sorry bout that, my damn spam filter occasionally makes a mess of the comments like that and will for some reason have a problem processing one so it will hang like that or post it multiple times. It is not something you did, it's just buggy software. I was trying to clean it up, and hopefully it should be all better now

Did Kate Hudson wear a beret in that French movie she was in recently, Le Divorce?

I've seen both of these films twice. Stargate put me to sleep the first time and bored me the second. Soldier on the other hand, is one of my favorite Kurt Russell movies. Sure it's not a John Bell-style art film, but it's fun anyway. Dude, Brett's mom cried when Kurt Russell got cast out of the little community and was sitting all alone in the drain pipe. It it makes Brett's mom cry, then it can't be all too terrible. "I'm going to kill them all."

My vote goes to Todd who has 104 words of dialogue, 7 of which are as follows:

Sandra: What are you going to do?
Todd: I'm going to kill them all, sir.

This line is the big crowd pleaser that comes at the end of the film but for some unexplained reason Kurt (Todd) is referring to a woman as "sir." Anyone in the real military would call a woman "ma'am." Of course this line can be traced back to shoddy writing, but it makes the character look ridiculous.

I just found myself shaking my head in disbelief through much of "Soldier" though I think that most of it had to do with the writing and direction. I just remember being kind of bored with "Stargate." At least Kurt got a healthy $20 million payday for "Soldier." So he shouldn't be too upset...

Keep in mind, it's not which movie is more terrible, it is which of these two soldiers is more terrible.

It's too bad my long-winded ass doesn't get paid per word.

WTF was I sitting next to who didn't believe it was Kurt Russell then? You were sitting on my left, and was it Steve-O who was sitting on my right?

BTW, and this is *completely* off-topic, but Will, I went to lunch with some colleagues at a Thai restaurant and was served by an Asian waitress. I guessed she was Japanese and was told that I was correct. She was tall, dressed in a black sleeveless sweater, miniskirt, and knee-high boots, which accentuated her gorgeously long and nicely-proportioned legs. Long story short, I didn't get any sort of vibe from talking to her, plus I figured she gets hit on all the time by guys there, especially since she's Asian, so I didn't ask her for her number. And now I'm regretting it.

Damn straight it ain't no John Bell art film. If it had just a hint of what Con Air had then we'd be in business.

Right, Pinball?

"Hmmm... I liked Pinball." - Cyrus the damn Virus

By the way, Matt, do you know if Brett's mom cried in "Beastmaster" when Dar got sent away from the rebels cause their king called him a freak? Did Brett's mom even see "Beastmaster"? Christ, inquiring minds want to know, goddammit!

The answer is that Kurt Russell's soldier in the movie "Stargate" was more terrible, and the reasons are plentiful. First off, Todd was born to kick ass, and kick ass he did. As a kid, did he stop running when one of the other kids in his group fell and was shot? Hell no! Did he fight in a bunch of wars on various planets throughout the galaxy always marching onward with his guns mowing down everything that got in his way? Hell yes! Did he badly maim some genetically engineered super-soldier that he wasn't even supposed to be able to harm in any way? Hell yes! Did he cry over his lost son like Col. O'Neil did? Hell no, he didn't have any kids, he was too busy soldierin' to have any kids! In fact, prior to being dumped on the garbage planet, the only women he probably ever saw were the ones he was mowing down with his machine guns! (that's probably why he called Sandra 'sir', by the way ) Most importantly though, Todd not only never wore a beret, but he also had his name tatooed on his face, and if that isn't hardcore then I don't know what is. Now THAT is a soldier!

On the other hand, Col. O'Neil in "Stargate" not only started off the movie crying, but he also spent most of the movie seemingly overmatched by the cross-dresser from "The Crying Game", and let's face it, there just ain't room in this man's army for a soldier who can't hold his own against a guy in a dress! (unless MAYBE that guy was John Wayne)

so what if i'm late with my vote? anybody got anything to say about that? want to step outside?! the dumpster, 3:00.

oh, sorry, a lot of things lately have been making me feel angry. shouldn't take it out on kurt russell terrible question bloggers.

my vote is definitely on the side of his "character" in that "film" stargate being way more terrible. the beret is a factor, but i think the overall horribleness of the film around him and the shoddy writing and the bland scenery and the inane concept make stargate just plain awful. james spader is what prompted me to spend my theater dollar, as often happens, and he had his moments in that mess. but kurt was entirely wasted.

but really, what i can't get out of my head, is what's the deal with the asian waitress? i'm confused.

I just threw that in to add some spicyness to the conversation.

Ok so I'm late as usual, but this will be short and sweet and definite. The more Terrible is the soldier in "stargate", 'cause you can say whatever you want about either soldiers, but for the soldier in "soldier" Kurt worked out like a maniac and he was totally buff and spent many a scene with his shirt off. Can you say "eye candy"?

And that's that!

Ciao people!

but, on the other hand, is the hotness of kurt russell really an accurate scale with which to judge these two men of honor? some may contend that there's nothing hotter than col. jack o'neil's steely emotional complexity.. or implied emotional complexity.. i think he's just really messed up. to some people that might be 'hot', i mean, look at courtney love. bad example. but courtney love does have a lot of kurt russell in her. maybe not, anyway, she's no asian waittress. and that's true hotness.